Warning. This is heretical. If you believe in romantic love, or want to believe in romantic love or hope romantic love exists, stop. Do not read further. Protect your false beliefs.
Guess what? Romantic love does not exist. Not in Reality. I'm not talking about what you may think is reality. I'm talking about Reality. Not the place that seems real, just like a dream seems real while you are dreaming, and all of the supporting information in that dream state that says romantic love exists, novels, love stories, ads with happy couples, self help books to find the perfect soul mate, Valentine's day. Oh my god, it is a HUGE scam. It is the ego's greatest invention to distract you from waking up, from seeing what is real. "Look for this" the ego says thereby misdirecting your attention. And how many follow this misdirection, millions, probably billions of humanoids. And for how long? Think about it your own life and be kind to yourself, round down.
As a collective society how much time do we put into attracting the right mate, holding on to the right mate, fixing ourselves so that right mate stays and in the end being duly disappointed even if there is a 50 year relationship? We never quite get from our perfect mate (if we are lucky enough to find him or her) exactly what we need. This is the scam. No matter how "right" you do it it will never be enough because it doesn't exist. You will never get from someone else what you need because there is no someone else, there is only you.
But before you hightail it to the nearest cliff (in case you read this despite the warnings) there is a good piece of news. Love does exist. It is possible to have deep meaningful relationships with others. In fact when the illusion of romantic love is busted for the scam that it is something quite beautiful and profound takes its place. It is the difference between nausea inducing romantic love and awe inspiring agape love. And yes, sex still exists.
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Would love to discuss this over tea when you get back, Kelsey! When will that be? I'm in a sweet relationship but often times it doesn't feel like I want it to feel. I puzzle over it and struggle with it sometimes.
RépondreSupprimerK... you teacher you :)
RépondreSupprimeryour writings leave us with both a hunger for more and somewhat fill us with enough content to feel satiated... I get it and my damn Ego (which is what told me to capitalize the "E" in Ego) is offended by the thought that its precious little construct of "love" is less than permanent, real or the "bomb"... more of your thoughts on this K, please