"Life is so complicated." "It is so hard to make the right decision." "It is all so confusing." How many times have you heard those phrases? Actually how many times have you used those phrases? Why is that life seems so complicated, confusing and difficult?
Life becomes complicated when we aren't present. We are thinking about the possible effects of our decisions on the people immediately effected by the decision, possibly how the people next to the people immediately effected and if we want, we can ripple out this process as far as needed to become paralyzed in making a decision and arrive at complicated. At a summer picnic a young mother was recounting to me how difficult life was with two small children (ages 6 and 9). She was trying to decide about summer camps for her children. There were the intellectual camps that would help put her children ahead, the sport camps that would increase their physical prowess, the art camps that would develop their creativity and finally the camps they wanted to go to. She was terrified that if she didn't choose the right camps she would be causing some sort of irreparable harm to her children. Apparently she sweated over these decisions for months and finally decided to enroll them in everything even though they didn't have the money for the camps. And even though the decision had been made she was now trying to decide which camps to cancel because her husband had acted "so unsupportive" when he found out the costs of the camps and told her to cancel them.
I certainly agree that life can be complicated when we try to figure out the possible effects of our decisions, but what is really happening when one tries to figure out the outcomes? In reality the need to know the answer, the need to figure out what is best, is the need to protect ourselves from that inner voice that tells us that somehow we did it wrong or bad. There is another voice, another intelligence if you will that operates within each of us. It is the voice of Life that guides, prompts or points the way for all actions. In my experience this voice is very quiet and not demanding and it takes practice to become accustom to hearing it much less following its guidance. Listening to this voice, what is feels right in this moment is the best way to keep life simple. Desire, action, pause, experience the reaction. Reset. Desire, action pause, reaction.
If this young mother followed this process it would have gone something like this. She had a desire to enroll her children in camp. She would have researched some camps, perhaps consulted the children as to the best camps for them (and maybe her husband regarding the finances) and made a decision. She needn't have worried about whether she was hurting their chances for a sports scholarship or entry into a prestigious college. She simply would have made the decision without undue hand-wringing.
I know I make it sound simple but even the most complicated situations boil down to what is right in this moment. Focusing on the next step and not the end of the journey simplifies everything. The most complicated processes can be broken down into a series of small doable steps. And trusting that inner Intelligence makes it all the easier.
mardi 5 juillet 2011
jeudi 3 mars 2011
Want What Is
Lately i've been on a rant about the collective ego. In all my years of awareness it suddenly became extremely obvious to me how the collective egos ban together to keep humankind asleep. We've all heard the terms "social consciousness" or "collective awareness" or the like. And while i thought i knew what these terms meant i should have known that any "thinking" about a concept regarding collective egos is like asking the fox to guard the chicken coop. Not really reliable. The problem has been that i never critically examined these concepts. I inputted the data into the mind and waited to see what it spit out and never questioned the output. I now see that i made lots of assumptions and all these assumptions are what allows the ego mind to play the equivalent of hide the pebble (reality) under the shell.
Below is a benign article that i found purporting to give us 12 steps/actions to take to make us happy. Sounds innocent enough, yes? But no. If you take a look at the article and really examine it you can see that it is a wild piece of propaganda designed to keep us looking outward so that we never discover the false existence of the ego mind. Take a look, notice what the collective egos minds want us to assume and see if you agree.
What Makes Us Happy (reprinted without permission from Prevention magazine)
1. Know What To Want
Most of us can't predict what will make us happy in the future and that inability often leads us down the wrong path. (First assumption there is a "right" path.)
The average American moves more than 11 times, changes jobs more than 10 times and marries more than once suggesting that most of us are making more than a few poor choices (Notice the second assumption. Change is bad. If you don't do it right the first time obviously you have made a bad choice), notes Harvard University psychologist Daniel Gilbert, PhD, author of Stumbling on Happiness. (here authority is cited not once--Harvard U., not twice--PhD, but three times--author. I.e. don't question authority). One reason we so often guess wrong, he argues is that we often imagine the future incorrectly. (There is a "correct" way to imagine the future--hint duality is always a sign that ego is present.) We forget how easily we adapt, even to painful circumstances. So when we picture what it would be like to be single again or to live in Seattle or to leave one job for another, we don't factor in everything else---the new friends, the newly discovered interest in Cascade Mountains wildflowers--that might also effect our emotional well-being. (Wait is he advocating change after talking about how changes are evidence of our "poor" choices?---another sign of ego--doublespeak.) Unfortunately, Gilbert says, we can't simply train ourselves to peer into the future with greater clarity. (Knowing what to expect is "good." Ego=Unsupported suppositions.) Start with the assumptions that your reactions are a lot like other people's, Gilbert says. If you want to know whether to take a job at a new company, pay attention to the people around you when you are there for an interview (look outside yourself for answers--aha, the real message.) Do they seem engaged an interested? That should count for a lot.
In one paragraph so many distractions, so many messages to look outward. Who woulda thought? And at the end of it all, if the editors really wanted to send a message about happiness the article could have been retitled "Want What Is" instead of "Know What to Want" and then the rest of the nonsense wouldn't have needed to be written.
Below is a benign article that i found purporting to give us 12 steps/actions to take to make us happy. Sounds innocent enough, yes? But no. If you take a look at the article and really examine it you can see that it is a wild piece of propaganda designed to keep us looking outward so that we never discover the false existence of the ego mind. Take a look, notice what the collective egos minds want us to assume and see if you agree.
What Makes Us Happy (reprinted without permission from Prevention magazine)
1. Know What To Want
Most of us can't predict what will make us happy in the future and that inability often leads us down the wrong path. (First assumption there is a "right" path.)
The average American moves more than 11 times, changes jobs more than 10 times and marries more than once suggesting that most of us are making more than a few poor choices (Notice the second assumption. Change is bad. If you don't do it right the first time obviously you have made a bad choice), notes Harvard University psychologist Daniel Gilbert, PhD, author of Stumbling on Happiness. (here authority is cited not once--Harvard U., not twice--PhD, but three times--author. I.e. don't question authority). One reason we so often guess wrong, he argues is that we often imagine the future incorrectly. (There is a "correct" way to imagine the future--hint duality is always a sign that ego is present.) We forget how easily we adapt, even to painful circumstances. So when we picture what it would be like to be single again or to live in Seattle or to leave one job for another, we don't factor in everything else---the new friends, the newly discovered interest in Cascade Mountains wildflowers--that might also effect our emotional well-being. (Wait is he advocating change after talking about how changes are evidence of our "poor" choices?---another sign of ego--doublespeak.) Unfortunately, Gilbert says, we can't simply train ourselves to peer into the future with greater clarity. (Knowing what to expect is "good." Ego=Unsupported suppositions.) Start with the assumptions that your reactions are a lot like other people's, Gilbert says. If you want to know whether to take a job at a new company, pay attention to the people around you when you are there for an interview (look outside yourself for answers--aha, the real message.) Do they seem engaged an interested? That should count for a lot.
In one paragraph so many distractions, so many messages to look outward. Who woulda thought? And at the end of it all, if the editors really wanted to send a message about happiness the article could have been retitled "Want What Is" instead of "Know What to Want" and then the rest of the nonsense wouldn't have needed to be written.
mercredi 2 mars 2011
I AM--the movie, not the truth
Last night i saw the film, "I AM," another in a recent spate of movies claiming a spiritual message. The movie starts out by asking two questions, "What is wrong with our world?" and "What can we do about it?" Right off the bat this movie has committed two grave errors. The first presumption is that there is indeed something wrong with our world. This is based on the idea that humans are somehow in charge and that we are doing something wrong. I don't deny that not providing health care, food or shelter for the needy in our communities certainly seems twisted in light of multimillion dollar bonuses for CEOs of banks, car companies, insurance companies and the like, but far to often something that seemed "wrong" or "bad" to my little ego mind turned out to be the catalyst for the next step. Observe how the years of oppression in the Middle East have coalesced into sweeping changes for countries like Egypt, Tunisia, potentially Libya and Bahrain.
The second mistake is again assuming that the answer is outside ourselves. "If you want to change the world, change yourself." J. Krishnamurti. It is easy to get distracted by the needs of others and the sense of "doing good." In fact the rest of the movie was dedicated to the two-fold message: we are all connected (yeah, duh, bravo) and doing something for others is good, it is what we are made to do ((insert several authorities and scientific experiments that "prove" this hypothesis) boo, hiss, ego.)
This is not to assert that helping others is bad. It is simply to say that until your own house is cleaned up you probably will just make a mess if you try to clean up someone else's. Once you have cleaned up your house, actions that are kind, considerate and respectful become normal. Hateful, intolerant, exclusive actions don't feel good to someone who is awake. The vibrations are just distasteful. As my teacher once said, "Why would i eat poo, when i can eat honey?"
The second mistake is again assuming that the answer is outside ourselves. "If you want to change the world, change yourself." J. Krishnamurti. It is easy to get distracted by the needs of others and the sense of "doing good." In fact the rest of the movie was dedicated to the two-fold message: we are all connected (yeah, duh, bravo) and doing something for others is good, it is what we are made to do ((insert several authorities and scientific experiments that "prove" this hypothesis) boo, hiss, ego.)
This is not to assert that helping others is bad. It is simply to say that until your own house is cleaned up you probably will just make a mess if you try to clean up someone else's. Once you have cleaned up your house, actions that are kind, considerate and respectful become normal. Hateful, intolerant, exclusive actions don't feel good to someone who is awake. The vibrations are just distasteful. As my teacher once said, "Why would i eat poo, when i can eat honey?"
lundi 7 février 2011
PVM-Part 2
A few things went unsaid in the last blog regarding purpose, value and meaning. The ego needs us to believe in these concepts to justify it's existence. Let's look at the concept of purpose. We might start out with the belief that "we all need a purpose," but again if you look carefully, what is need and are you sure you would die or at least be miserable without it? Where does purpose come from and who decides what is your purpose? Purpose actually gives you a great excuse not to look inward, not to examine the veracity of your thoughts. Purpose is outside yourself.
Another belief--Work or for that matter family, friends or lovers provide value to our lives. Again what does that mean? What is value? And what happens if you don't have it? I can assure you that ego tells you that you will have a miserable existence or you might even die without value as validated by these outside sources. (But then again how times are you miserable with a job, family or friends?)
I propose these questions because the only way i know to destroy the ego is through asking questions. The answers are not as important as simply asking questions. Asking questions creates a space where doubt can creep in--just maybe this thought isn't true, just maybe. What happens when you allow yourself the possibility that a thought, that the virtual reality might not be the reality? On the one hand there is nothing to do, but on the other hand, intent, desire or even an honest question can allow for the insertion of a virus that destroys the mental program. If you are happy enough, content enough or satisfied enough DON'T START MESSING WITH THE PROGRAM. Don't ask questions, instead keep looking outside for answers. This is will allow you to stay neatly within the program, neatly within your comfort zone.
Another belief--Work or for that matter family, friends or lovers provide value to our lives. Again what does that mean? What is value? And what happens if you don't have it? I can assure you that ego tells you that you will have a miserable existence or you might even die without value as validated by these outside sources. (But then again how times are you miserable with a job, family or friends?)
I propose these questions because the only way i know to destroy the ego is through asking questions. The answers are not as important as simply asking questions. Asking questions creates a space where doubt can creep in--just maybe this thought isn't true, just maybe. What happens when you allow yourself the possibility that a thought, that the virtual reality might not be the reality? On the one hand there is nothing to do, but on the other hand, intent, desire or even an honest question can allow for the insertion of a virus that destroys the mental program. If you are happy enough, content enough or satisfied enough DON'T START MESSING WITH THE PROGRAM. Don't ask questions, instead keep looking outside for answers. This is will allow you to stay neatly within the program, neatly within your comfort zone.
Purpose, Value and Meaning
I recently heard these words as "good" reasons to keep working although retirement age had come and gone. Purpose, value and meaning. These words were pronounced with such solemnity that i knew they were my friend's heart mantra. She probably repeated them to herself several times a day and certainly whenever the voice arose that said after 75 years you can relax. No way.
Actually that was not the first time i have heard those words. It seems like they are often quoted in studies that show working is good for you, in newspaper or magazine articles about aging and even as a rah, rah to youngsters encouraging them to "get on track." Does anybody see how terrifying this brainwashing is? The point is not to say that working is bad and everyone should just quit. It is a little more subtle than that. It is seeing once again how collective egos conspire together to get you to look outward for satisfaction, happiness and love or rather purpose, meaning and value. If you look to your job for validation, do you see you are trapped right out of the gate? If anything goes wrong with your job, whammo there goes your value. If you quit your job or are fired, whammo there goes your purpose and if you aren't working well obvy, there is no meaning. And now we start to get to the heart of things--no purpose, value or meaning.
If you begin to look at your ego, really look at it you won't find it anywhere. Why? Because in reality it doesn't exist. Let's back up and give a very broad definition of ego--basically that repository of everything you think, in particular anything involving duality, right/wrong, good/bad, worthwhile/worthless etc. Another way of saying that is anything that you believe is true or false or anything you think you "should or shouldn't do" or "should or shouldn't be." Now have you found any physical evidence of your ego? Of course the great manifestors that we are, we literally make something out of nothing. We can take a thought and y viola create physical proof of its' existence. Eg. The thought--I can't do math. You take a math test. You fail. You look at the big fat F in red at the top of your test--proof. But this is the effect of the ego not the actual ego. Keep looking for its lair. You won't find it because ego doesn't exist.
Ego's biggest fear is that you will discover that it doesn't exist in reality. It exists solely in the virtual reality of the mind. The only way it keeps the human enslaved is by convincing the human that it must continue to look outward for answers to whatever nagging questions or thoughts arise regarding the futility of the virtual life. If, or hopefully when, you stop, sit down and look inside really look inside. Look in every nook and cranny, every dark, dusty corner you will realize that ego does not exist and you will find your freedom. In the meantime without throwing a mental nuclear bomb into your life you can become aware of how many times the collective egos rally together to keep the humans looking outside themselves for purpose, value and meaning.
Actually that was not the first time i have heard those words. It seems like they are often quoted in studies that show working is good for you, in newspaper or magazine articles about aging and even as a rah, rah to youngsters encouraging them to "get on track." Does anybody see how terrifying this brainwashing is? The point is not to say that working is bad and everyone should just quit. It is a little more subtle than that. It is seeing once again how collective egos conspire together to get you to look outward for satisfaction, happiness and love or rather purpose, meaning and value. If you look to your job for validation, do you see you are trapped right out of the gate? If anything goes wrong with your job, whammo there goes your value. If you quit your job or are fired, whammo there goes your purpose and if you aren't working well obvy, there is no meaning. And now we start to get to the heart of things--no purpose, value or meaning.
If you begin to look at your ego, really look at it you won't find it anywhere. Why? Because in reality it doesn't exist. Let's back up and give a very broad definition of ego--basically that repository of everything you think, in particular anything involving duality, right/wrong, good/bad, worthwhile/worthless etc. Another way of saying that is anything that you believe is true or false or anything you think you "should or shouldn't do" or "should or shouldn't be." Now have you found any physical evidence of your ego? Of course the great manifestors that we are, we literally make something out of nothing. We can take a thought and y viola create physical proof of its' existence. Eg. The thought--I can't do math. You take a math test. You fail. You look at the big fat F in red at the top of your test--proof. But this is the effect of the ego not the actual ego. Keep looking for its lair. You won't find it because ego doesn't exist.
Ego's biggest fear is that you will discover that it doesn't exist in reality. It exists solely in the virtual reality of the mind. The only way it keeps the human enslaved is by convincing the human that it must continue to look outward for answers to whatever nagging questions or thoughts arise regarding the futility of the virtual life. If, or hopefully when, you stop, sit down and look inside really look inside. Look in every nook and cranny, every dark, dusty corner you will realize that ego does not exist and you will find your freedom. In the meantime without throwing a mental nuclear bomb into your life you can become aware of how many times the collective egos rally together to keep the humans looking outside themselves for purpose, value and meaning.
jeudi 13 janvier 2011
Being Kind---NOT
Okay this concept of being kind has come up in a few conversations of late and it has gotten under my skin enough that it is time to write about it. A friend asked " Doesn't being spiritual mean being kind and compassionate to others?" This was a double whammy question first for assuming that "being spiritual" somehow means different or separate from others as though there are spiritual beings and non-spiritual beings. That is like saying there are people who breathe and people who don't. Sorry. Not. If you aren't breathing you are either dead or not a human. If you are alive you are spiritual. Period.
The second offense is this idea of being kind or compassionate to others. (Another friend embellished on this concept by throwing in the modification of being of "service" to others.) Blckk, yukk, choke. The sticking point here is the "others" aspect. Being kind and compassionate to yourself gets two thumbs ups. Go for it. Do it everyday, every moment. Doing something for others implies a self-importance of enormous proportions. The very idea that you know what is "best," "kind" or "compassionate" for someone else implies that you don't respect how he is living his life and somehow this person needs your assistance to "be better" which basically means living his life according to your beliefs and definitions.
A very smart friend said "i like doing what's best for you." thinking she got around this particular offense. Unfortunately she didn't. How can she possibly know what's best for me? Did she really like doing what's best for me or did she like doing what's best for her disguised as doing something for others? And if so doesn't that complicate life? In this particular incident i didn't respond and she began outlining all of the possibilities to solve a delivery dilemma, times, dates, locations. In the space of a minute or two there was a plethora of possibilities and frankly i had no preferences. The monologue continued another four or five minutes weighing the pluses and minuses of each option and finally she realized what was best for her, y viola, a decision was made. Done. How much easier it would have been for her to say what was best for her, which would have allowed me to say what was best for me and then we could have seen if they overlapped and if not how to get it done. Life becomes very complicated when you aren't honest with yourself. The clearer you are with yourself the easier life is. A complicated life or situation is a good indication that you are asleep.
Being compassionate or kind to others is a good excuse not to be true to ourselves. We look to the needs of others instead of looking at our own needs. We focus our energy on figuring out someone else instead of ourselves. It is this distraction of looking elsewhere, instead of inside that keeps you asleep...that is if you want to wake up. If not be kind to others, look for your soul mate, make other people happy.
The second offense is this idea of being kind or compassionate to others. (Another friend embellished on this concept by throwing in the modification of being of "service" to others.) Blckk, yukk, choke. The sticking point here is the "others" aspect. Being kind and compassionate to yourself gets two thumbs ups. Go for it. Do it everyday, every moment. Doing something for others implies a self-importance of enormous proportions. The very idea that you know what is "best," "kind" or "compassionate" for someone else implies that you don't respect how he is living his life and somehow this person needs your assistance to "be better" which basically means living his life according to your beliefs and definitions.
A very smart friend said "i like doing what's best for you." thinking she got around this particular offense. Unfortunately she didn't. How can she possibly know what's best for me? Did she really like doing what's best for me or did she like doing what's best for her disguised as doing something for others? And if so doesn't that complicate life? In this particular incident i didn't respond and she began outlining all of the possibilities to solve a delivery dilemma, times, dates, locations. In the space of a minute or two there was a plethora of possibilities and frankly i had no preferences. The monologue continued another four or five minutes weighing the pluses and minuses of each option and finally she realized what was best for her, y viola, a decision was made. Done. How much easier it would have been for her to say what was best for her, which would have allowed me to say what was best for me and then we could have seen if they overlapped and if not how to get it done. Life becomes very complicated when you aren't honest with yourself. The clearer you are with yourself the easier life is. A complicated life or situation is a good indication that you are asleep.
Being compassionate or kind to others is a good excuse not to be true to ourselves. We look to the needs of others instead of looking at our own needs. We focus our energy on figuring out someone else instead of ourselves. It is this distraction of looking elsewhere, instead of inside that keeps you asleep...that is if you want to wake up. If not be kind to others, look for your soul mate, make other people happy.
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