lundi 31 décembre 2012

Become Your Best Friend

I just finished a rare perusal of Facebook.  On the eve of the next year, it is full of postings expressing gratitude to family and friends, extolling the virtues of being kind, witnessing the miracles in our lives.  Nice, right?  Well, let's take a look.

From what I can tell, most people want peace and happiness and they are very busy trying to get to the land of PaH.  There are countless books, paths, religions, mantras promising PaH to the gullible acolyte. And without going into detail about the scams, shams and spams, let's just cut to the chase and tell the truth...

ain't nobody but you gonna get you there.

This isn't such bad news.  It's not that hard and it's not complicated.  Become your best friend.  You are so busy looking outside ourselves, impressing others with your gratitude, seeking the approval of those same others, doing it the way someone else told you that you completely overlook the answer right in front of your nose.  Become your own best friend.

Now lest you think you automatically know what a best friend is, it is important to understand that your own best friend is not anything like a physical best friend.  There are no conditions, no underlying jealousies, no tit-for-tat.  Nothing except 100% support.  This doesn't mean that your best friend (you) can't think critically about a subject. It just means that your best friend NEVER puts you down.  No exceptions.  Oh did I mention your BF NEVER puts you down.

I can already hear the "yeah-buts".  There is a big difference between, thinking that you could do something better and thinking that you are a bad person. And if you are unhappy, feel like something is not quite right, uneasy or you're just plain pissed at life. ie not at peace, I can gaurantee you those nasty voices are going on in your head even if you don't hear them. They are telling you that somehow you didn't do it right, that you are wrong, that you are not worthy, blah, blah, blah.

When that voice transforms into your best friend, you will have arrived in the land of PaH.  Unfortunately only you can change the switch despite all of the promises outside yourself.  In fact and this is the main message of this missive,  

DON'T BE DISTRACTED.

Don't be distracted by other people, don't be hooked by the notion that someone else can do it for you or that you just have to find the right teacher, technique, method,etc.  Most of the these people haven't landed in PaH and so they distract themselves by gathering other distractees. And most of all, don't be distracted by the notion that you or your life is supposed to look a certain way.  Life is a mindfield of distractions and you can spend your life defusing all the bombs you find, but then you never end up in the land of PaH.  It takes massive courage to understand that in fact you don't even have to go through the mindfield you call Life.  There is another path.  

Stop hurting yourself.   Look at yourself honestly.  (There is nothing inherently wrong with being a liar, a bitch, a sneak, a weakling, a bossy cow, whatever you may have labeled "bad".)  Accept yourself. Be the best whatever you are and suddenly without even trying you will find yourself exactly where you wanted to be.

It really is that easy.

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