Anosognosic

I learned a new word this week: agnosognosic. Basically it means someone who doesn't know what he doesn't know. Initially this word was used to describe people who had lost an arm or a leg and didn't know it was gone or someone who was paralyzed but didn't know they were paralyzed. It is quite an interesting idea to think that we don't know what we don't know. The people with paralyzed or phantom limbs completely created their world to reflect what they knew, i.e. they had functioning limbs. If for example you put a pen next to someone's paralyzed arm and asked them to pick it up they would say that they didn't want to or didn't feel like it, some might even use the non-paralyzed limb to pick up the paralyzed limb picking up the pen. Do you follow? The conclusion was basically we create our own world and during my stay i have had many opportunities to witness this.

Last week i went to the Palais Tokoyo, contemporary art museum in the 8th arrondissement. I was with a friend and as i approached the ticket counter the woman asked me which tariff i would like to pay. Searching quickly, I ruled out senior, child, group. I replied the full tariff. She asked, "are you sure?" I looked puzzled and then she asked if i was an artist. My friend immediately responded "Yes, she is." She asked for proof but i had nothing except fingernails full of charcoal. I showed her my hands--not good enough--(not surprising). Finally she said, "I will give you the professor's discount and a ticket good for six months. I was way ecstatic. As we went to enter the museum my friend said to me, "Wow, she really gave you a hard time didn't she?" I had no idea what he was talking about. Here this French sales attendant just went out of her way to give me a discount after i had said i was happy to pay the full fare. My experience was that this French woman (notoriously known for coolness) was incredibly kind and generous to an obvious stranger. My heart was somersaulting thank yous. And yet my friend had a completely different experience, apparently one based on rudeness and meanness. Who was right? Who cares? Personally I like my experience better so I'm sticking to it.

So if we really are creating our world, that's really good news because it means that we are responsible. If something is happening that we don't like, we can change it (and by change "it" I mean what is in our control i.e. the "like" aspect not necessarily the "event" aspect.)