Death by a Thousand Little Sufferings

How many times a day do you say no to yourself? It can be an almost automatic reply to petits desires. You have to go to the bathroom but you make yourself wait. You are thirsty but you don't get a glass of water. You are tired but you won't let yourself take a cat nap. It can be very subtle. Beware of death by a thousand little sufferings.

This past weekend i took a two hour train ride to Le Harve, a ville northwest of Paris on the Normandy coast. There was an exhibit that was highly recommended and after several signs, I said what the heck and was off on a two hour train ride to Musee Malraux. The museum is a very modern building and specializes in the works of Eugene Boudin (whom i fell in love with) and has a nice representation of impressionist paintings.

On my way back, i went to the train station early as there were no assigned seats and i wanted a window seat and perhaps one with a little extra leg room. I walked towards the front of the train (and those trains are long) found a nearly empty car and plopped down in the perfect seat and waited for the train to depart. Literally minutes before the train took off, two different families with a total of three children all under the age of 4 entered the car (plus some other random 5 year old something snuck on with a single parent while i wasn't looking) and viola before you know it i was in the midst of the preschool mania. Now i don't have anything against children especially as i have three of my own but i wasn't prepared for two hours of running in the aisles, asking for food, fighting with siblings which is what was previewed in the next ten minutes.

The train started. I sat there. I really wanted to move, but "i had the perfect seat," "you might offend somebody if you move," "it's not that bad," "suck it up." Those are the voices i heard in my head. "Suffering a little isn't so bad." What? As soon as i realized what was going on, you guessed. I gathered my bag and coat and moved. It wasn't hard. The same perfect seat was available in the next car and i ended up in an engaging conversation with a French policeman nearly the whole ride.

Beware of the tiny sufferings you permit each day. Pain may be necessary from time to time but suffering isn't. Not one bit.