A few things went unsaid in the last blog regarding purpose, value and meaning. The ego needs us to believe in these concepts to justify it's existence. Let's look at the concept of purpose. We might start out with the belief that "we all need a purpose," but again if you look carefully, what is need and are you sure you would die or at least be miserable without it? Where does purpose come from and who decides what is your purpose? Purpose actually gives you a great excuse not to look inward, not to examine the veracity of your thoughts. Purpose is outside yourself.
Another belief--Work or for that matter family, friends or lovers provide value to our lives. Again what does that mean? What is value? And what happens if you don't have it? I can assure you that ego tells you that you will have a miserable existence or you might even die without value as validated by these outside sources. (But then again how times are you miserable with a job, family or friends?)
I propose these questions because the only way i know to destroy the ego is through asking questions. The answers are not as important as simply asking questions. Asking questions creates a space where doubt can creep in--just maybe this thought isn't true, just maybe. What happens when you allow yourself the possibility that a thought, that the virtual reality might not be the reality? On the one hand there is nothing to do, but on the other hand, intent, desire or even an honest question can allow for the insertion of a virus that destroys the mental program. If you are happy enough, content enough or satisfied enough DON'T START MESSING WITH THE PROGRAM. Don't ask questions, instead keep looking outside for answers. This is will allow you to stay neatly within the program, neatly within your comfort zone.
lundi 7 février 2011
Purpose, Value and Meaning
I recently heard these words as "good" reasons to keep working although retirement age had come and gone. Purpose, value and meaning. These words were pronounced with such solemnity that i knew they were my friend's heart mantra. She probably repeated them to herself several times a day and certainly whenever the voice arose that said after 75 years you can relax. No way.
Actually that was not the first time i have heard those words. It seems like they are often quoted in studies that show working is good for you, in newspaper or magazine articles about aging and even as a rah, rah to youngsters encouraging them to "get on track." Does anybody see how terrifying this brainwashing is? The point is not to say that working is bad and everyone should just quit. It is a little more subtle than that. It is seeing once again how collective egos conspire together to get you to look outward for satisfaction, happiness and love or rather purpose, meaning and value. If you look to your job for validation, do you see you are trapped right out of the gate? If anything goes wrong with your job, whammo there goes your value. If you quit your job or are fired, whammo there goes your purpose and if you aren't working well obvy, there is no meaning. And now we start to get to the heart of things--no purpose, value or meaning.
If you begin to look at your ego, really look at it you won't find it anywhere. Why? Because in reality it doesn't exist. Let's back up and give a very broad definition of ego--basically that repository of everything you think, in particular anything involving duality, right/wrong, good/bad, worthwhile/worthless etc. Another way of saying that is anything that you believe is true or false or anything you think you "should or shouldn't do" or "should or shouldn't be." Now have you found any physical evidence of your ego? Of course the great manifestors that we are, we literally make something out of nothing. We can take a thought and y viola create physical proof of its' existence. Eg. The thought--I can't do math. You take a math test. You fail. You look at the big fat F in red at the top of your test--proof. But this is the effect of the ego not the actual ego. Keep looking for its lair. You won't find it because ego doesn't exist.
Ego's biggest fear is that you will discover that it doesn't exist in reality. It exists solely in the virtual reality of the mind. The only way it keeps the human enslaved is by convincing the human that it must continue to look outward for answers to whatever nagging questions or thoughts arise regarding the futility of the virtual life. If, or hopefully when, you stop, sit down and look inside really look inside. Look in every nook and cranny, every dark, dusty corner you will realize that ego does not exist and you will find your freedom. In the meantime without throwing a mental nuclear bomb into your life you can become aware of how many times the collective egos rally together to keep the humans looking outside themselves for purpose, value and meaning.
Actually that was not the first time i have heard those words. It seems like they are often quoted in studies that show working is good for you, in newspaper or magazine articles about aging and even as a rah, rah to youngsters encouraging them to "get on track." Does anybody see how terrifying this brainwashing is? The point is not to say that working is bad and everyone should just quit. It is a little more subtle than that. It is seeing once again how collective egos conspire together to get you to look outward for satisfaction, happiness and love or rather purpose, meaning and value. If you look to your job for validation, do you see you are trapped right out of the gate? If anything goes wrong with your job, whammo there goes your value. If you quit your job or are fired, whammo there goes your purpose and if you aren't working well obvy, there is no meaning. And now we start to get to the heart of things--no purpose, value or meaning.
If you begin to look at your ego, really look at it you won't find it anywhere. Why? Because in reality it doesn't exist. Let's back up and give a very broad definition of ego--basically that repository of everything you think, in particular anything involving duality, right/wrong, good/bad, worthwhile/worthless etc. Another way of saying that is anything that you believe is true or false or anything you think you "should or shouldn't do" or "should or shouldn't be." Now have you found any physical evidence of your ego? Of course the great manifestors that we are, we literally make something out of nothing. We can take a thought and y viola create physical proof of its' existence. Eg. The thought--I can't do math. You take a math test. You fail. You look at the big fat F in red at the top of your test--proof. But this is the effect of the ego not the actual ego. Keep looking for its lair. You won't find it because ego doesn't exist.
Ego's biggest fear is that you will discover that it doesn't exist in reality. It exists solely in the virtual reality of the mind. The only way it keeps the human enslaved is by convincing the human that it must continue to look outward for answers to whatever nagging questions or thoughts arise regarding the futility of the virtual life. If, or hopefully when, you stop, sit down and look inside really look inside. Look in every nook and cranny, every dark, dusty corner you will realize that ego does not exist and you will find your freedom. In the meantime without throwing a mental nuclear bomb into your life you can become aware of how many times the collective egos rally together to keep the humans looking outside themselves for purpose, value and meaning.
jeudi 13 janvier 2011
Being Kind---NOT
Okay this concept of being kind has come up in a few conversations of late and it has gotten under my skin enough that it is time to write about it. A friend asked " Doesn't being spiritual mean being kind and compassionate to others?" This was a double whammy question first for assuming that "being spiritual" somehow means different or separate from others as though there are spiritual beings and non-spiritual beings. That is like saying there are people who breathe and people who don't. Sorry. Not. If you aren't breathing you are either dead or not a human. If you are alive you are spiritual. Period.
The second offense is this idea of being kind or compassionate to others. (Another friend embellished on this concept by throwing in the modification of being of "service" to others.) Blckk, yukk, choke. The sticking point here is the "others" aspect. Being kind and compassionate to yourself gets two thumbs ups. Go for it. Do it everyday, every moment. Doing something for others implies a self-importance of enormous proportions. The very idea that you know what is "best," "kind" or "compassionate" for someone else implies that you don't respect how he is living his life and somehow this person needs your assistance to "be better" which basically means living his life according to your beliefs and definitions.
A very smart friend said "i like doing what's best for you." thinking she got around this particular offense. Unfortunately she didn't. How can she possibly know what's best for me? Did she really like doing what's best for me or did she like doing what's best for her disguised as doing something for others? And if so doesn't that complicate life? In this particular incident i didn't respond and she began outlining all of the possibilities to solve a delivery dilemma, times, dates, locations. In the space of a minute or two there was a plethora of possibilities and frankly i had no preferences. The monologue continued another four or five minutes weighing the pluses and minuses of each option and finally she realized what was best for her, y viola, a decision was made. Done. How much easier it would have been for her to say what was best for her, which would have allowed me to say what was best for me and then we could have seen if they overlapped and if not how to get it done. Life becomes very complicated when you aren't honest with yourself. The clearer you are with yourself the easier life is. A complicated life or situation is a good indication that you are asleep.
Being compassionate or kind to others is a good excuse not to be true to ourselves. We look to the needs of others instead of looking at our own needs. We focus our energy on figuring out someone else instead of ourselves. It is this distraction of looking elsewhere, instead of inside that keeps you asleep...that is if you want to wake up. If not be kind to others, look for your soul mate, make other people happy.
The second offense is this idea of being kind or compassionate to others. (Another friend embellished on this concept by throwing in the modification of being of "service" to others.) Blckk, yukk, choke. The sticking point here is the "others" aspect. Being kind and compassionate to yourself gets two thumbs ups. Go for it. Do it everyday, every moment. Doing something for others implies a self-importance of enormous proportions. The very idea that you know what is "best," "kind" or "compassionate" for someone else implies that you don't respect how he is living his life and somehow this person needs your assistance to "be better" which basically means living his life according to your beliefs and definitions.
A very smart friend said "i like doing what's best for you." thinking she got around this particular offense. Unfortunately she didn't. How can she possibly know what's best for me? Did she really like doing what's best for me or did she like doing what's best for her disguised as doing something for others? And if so doesn't that complicate life? In this particular incident i didn't respond and she began outlining all of the possibilities to solve a delivery dilemma, times, dates, locations. In the space of a minute or two there was a plethora of possibilities and frankly i had no preferences. The monologue continued another four or five minutes weighing the pluses and minuses of each option and finally she realized what was best for her, y viola, a decision was made. Done. How much easier it would have been for her to say what was best for her, which would have allowed me to say what was best for me and then we could have seen if they overlapped and if not how to get it done. Life becomes very complicated when you aren't honest with yourself. The clearer you are with yourself the easier life is. A complicated life or situation is a good indication that you are asleep.
Being compassionate or kind to others is a good excuse not to be true to ourselves. We look to the needs of others instead of looking at our own needs. We focus our energy on figuring out someone else instead of ourselves. It is this distraction of looking elsewhere, instead of inside that keeps you asleep...that is if you want to wake up. If not be kind to others, look for your soul mate, make other people happy.
lundi 27 décembre 2010
It's Worst Than I Thought
It's worse than i thought. Beware. It's everywhere. This morning on my way to work i was innocently listening to an alternative rock radio station when another bomb went off. Every pop love song is another ego-based trick calling you to look away. Every "she left me," "I'll find another," "I'll get her back when I change" is just another cheap trick to keep you looking outside yourself for "The Answer." Every message outside yourself that says you need to be something different, you need to change, you'll be happy when ....(fill in the blank "your way") is a lie, a scam, a device designed to keep the ego alive. Don't believe those voices, don't believe your own thoughts. Be skeptical. Examine every idea, every belief.
A few nights ago during this holiday season i saw the last twenty minutes of a Hallmark special. The fallen-but-about-to-be-redeemed heroine is at the airport, pleading with the gate agent, "Please you must let me through. Finding him may be my only chance at happiness." (Him being the obvious soul mate though the She didn't realize it until it was almost too late..duh...pause for dramatic effect.) Gate agent pages said soul mate who bursts through the gate when he "feels" his soul mate searching for him. You guessed it. Happily ever after. Puke. Vomit. Throw up now. Don't believe the message that your soul mate is outside of you. This is the trick of the ego to get you to continue looking outside yourself. You will NEVER find him/her because he/she doesn't exist. And this is not necessarily bad news. Be patient.
What is a poor human to do? Question. Question everything. The answers are not that important. The questions are crucial. The ego hates questions. Questions turn the spot light inward. Don't take for granted a single thought you have. Question the meaning of every word. In the above example of our heroine, what does "finding" mean? Who is "him"? What is "only," "chance," and especially "happiness." And if you accidentally come up with an answer, question each word in the answer. Don't just assume you know what you mean. The ego is counting on these assumptions. Where is the falseness in your reasoning? It is there. Search for it.
What you know as reality is actually a giant distraction created by collective egos to ensure their survival. If you look carefully, you will see the subtle (and some not so subtle) messages that there is something wrong with you, that something needs to be fixed, that you will be happy when something outside you falls into place. Every one of these messages are designed to distract you from looking at the true source of dissatisfaction, dis-ease, unhappiness...the mind. The bad news is that you create your dissatisfaction, dis-ease, unhappiness...major bummer. Good news this same you has the power to create whatever you want and i'm not talking about fame, riches, size zero bodies for the females and 10 inch lingams for the males and all the things that pseudo-spiritual, new-age proselytizers promise. I'm talking about a harmony and deep satisfaction with the perfection of Life as it is. It is there. I promise.
A few nights ago during this holiday season i saw the last twenty minutes of a Hallmark special. The fallen-but-about-to-be-redeemed heroine is at the airport, pleading with the gate agent, "Please you must let me through. Finding him may be my only chance at happiness." (Him being the obvious soul mate though the She didn't realize it until it was almost too late..duh...pause for dramatic effect.) Gate agent pages said soul mate who bursts through the gate when he "feels" his soul mate searching for him. You guessed it. Happily ever after. Puke. Vomit. Throw up now. Don't believe the message that your soul mate is outside of you. This is the trick of the ego to get you to continue looking outside yourself. You will NEVER find him/her because he/she doesn't exist. And this is not necessarily bad news. Be patient.
What is a poor human to do? Question. Question everything. The answers are not that important. The questions are crucial. The ego hates questions. Questions turn the spot light inward. Don't take for granted a single thought you have. Question the meaning of every word. In the above example of our heroine, what does "finding" mean? Who is "him"? What is "only," "chance," and especially "happiness." And if you accidentally come up with an answer, question each word in the answer. Don't just assume you know what you mean. The ego is counting on these assumptions. Where is the falseness in your reasoning? It is there. Search for it.
What you know as reality is actually a giant distraction created by collective egos to ensure their survival. If you look carefully, you will see the subtle (and some not so subtle) messages that there is something wrong with you, that something needs to be fixed, that you will be happy when something outside you falls into place. Every one of these messages are designed to distract you from looking at the true source of dissatisfaction, dis-ease, unhappiness...the mind. The bad news is that you create your dissatisfaction, dis-ease, unhappiness...major bummer. Good news this same you has the power to create whatever you want and i'm not talking about fame, riches, size zero bodies for the females and 10 inch lingams for the males and all the things that pseudo-spiritual, new-age proselytizers promise. I'm talking about a harmony and deep satisfaction with the perfection of Life as it is. It is there. I promise.
vendredi 17 décembre 2010
Warning Romantic Love Is A Scam
Warning. This is heretical. If you believe in romantic love, or want to believe in romantic love or hope romantic love exists, stop. Do not read further. Protect your false beliefs.
Guess what? Romantic love does not exist. Not in Reality. I'm not talking about what you may think is reality. I'm talking about Reality. Not the place that seems real, just like a dream seems real while you are dreaming, and all of the supporting information in that dream state that says romantic love exists, novels, love stories, ads with happy couples, self help books to find the perfect soul mate, Valentine's day. Oh my god, it is a HUGE scam. It is the ego's greatest invention to distract you from waking up, from seeing what is real. "Look for this" the ego says thereby misdirecting your attention. And how many follow this misdirection, millions, probably billions of humanoids. And for how long? Think about it your own life and be kind to yourself, round down.
As a collective society how much time do we put into attracting the right mate, holding on to the right mate, fixing ourselves so that right mate stays and in the end being duly disappointed even if there is a 50 year relationship? We never quite get from our perfect mate (if we are lucky enough to find him or her) exactly what we need. This is the scam. No matter how "right" you do it it will never be enough because it doesn't exist. You will never get from someone else what you need because there is no someone else, there is only you.
But before you hightail it to the nearest cliff (in case you read this despite the warnings) there is a good piece of news. Love does exist. It is possible to have deep meaningful relationships with others. In fact when the illusion of romantic love is busted for the scam that it is something quite beautiful and profound takes its place. It is the difference between nausea inducing romantic love and awe inspiring agape love. And yes, sex still exists.
Guess what? Romantic love does not exist. Not in Reality. I'm not talking about what you may think is reality. I'm talking about Reality. Not the place that seems real, just like a dream seems real while you are dreaming, and all of the supporting information in that dream state that says romantic love exists, novels, love stories, ads with happy couples, self help books to find the perfect soul mate, Valentine's day. Oh my god, it is a HUGE scam. It is the ego's greatest invention to distract you from waking up, from seeing what is real. "Look for this" the ego says thereby misdirecting your attention. And how many follow this misdirection, millions, probably billions of humanoids. And for how long? Think about it your own life and be kind to yourself, round down.
As a collective society how much time do we put into attracting the right mate, holding on to the right mate, fixing ourselves so that right mate stays and in the end being duly disappointed even if there is a 50 year relationship? We never quite get from our perfect mate (if we are lucky enough to find him or her) exactly what we need. This is the scam. No matter how "right" you do it it will never be enough because it doesn't exist. You will never get from someone else what you need because there is no someone else, there is only you.
But before you hightail it to the nearest cliff (in case you read this despite the warnings) there is a good piece of news. Love does exist. It is possible to have deep meaningful relationships with others. In fact when the illusion of romantic love is busted for the scam that it is something quite beautiful and profound takes its place. It is the difference between nausea inducing romantic love and awe inspiring agape love. And yes, sex still exists.
mercredi 15 décembre 2010
Laughing at mistakes
In great poetic detail, I explained my experience running in Forest Park to my french friend. He wrote back that he has glad that i had such an inspiring run but perhaps i enjoyed the "odeurs" (smells) of the forest instead of the "ordures" (garbage) of the forest. He laughed on one end and i have been laughing for two days about my "mistake" and that has made me think of the joy of making mistakes.
What a comedy of errors occurs when we make a genuine mistake and how much fun it is to laugh at the miscommunication. Communication with others via the word, even under the most ideal circumstances, is an imperfect art. And to take that further and realize the communication within ourselves is also never accurate. Words are place holders. They define the edges. They make the boxes. How can you not laugh when the mind says that something is wrong, or that you need to be fixed or one of my personal favorites, that life should somehow be different than it is.
Words at best are a means to love and at worst a means to cast black magic on ourselves or others. Be wary of words. Know that you are something beyond words. Words allow us to watch ourselves on the stage of our little human life. And one of the best ways to disable the power of words is to laugh because it is only the seriousness, the believing that they are true that makes words rule.
What a comedy of errors occurs when we make a genuine mistake and how much fun it is to laugh at the miscommunication. Communication with others via the word, even under the most ideal circumstances, is an imperfect art. And to take that further and realize the communication within ourselves is also never accurate. Words are place holders. They define the edges. They make the boxes. How can you not laugh when the mind says that something is wrong, or that you need to be fixed or one of my personal favorites, that life should somehow be different than it is.
Words at best are a means to love and at worst a means to cast black magic on ourselves or others. Be wary of words. Know that you are something beyond words. Words allow us to watch ourselves on the stage of our little human life. And one of the best ways to disable the power of words is to laugh because it is only the seriousness, the believing that they are true that makes words rule.
dimanche 5 décembre 2010
No Shortage of Opportunities to Love
Riding on the train, the man across the aisle leaned over and asked, "why are you so happy?" Why was i so happy? How could i explain it to this man in my halting french. I told him it was love. "Oh you must be in love with someone?" "No, not love of somebody or something, just love." He gave me a puzzled look and then had an Aha moment. He said,
"Are you careful with your heart? Do you keep it protected?"
"No, not at all" i replied.
I explained as carefully as i could love was not something to be protected or hoarded or hidden away. Love was something to be shared and given away. My teacher, don Miguel Ruiz, told me many years ago that what makes us feel so good feeling the love pour out of us. Only our simple minds put conditions and restrictions on love. Love knows no boundaries. And a few days later i awoke to this in an email from Miguel:
Be generous with your love. You are never going to be alone if you are
generous with your love. What makes you happy is love coming out of you,
and if you are generous with your love, everyone is going to love you.
The fear to love only comes from the mind that tells us its not safe or we are going to get hurt. But did you ever ask who hurts you...really? Not him or her or them. The "person" that hurts us is the little voice in our head that says we did something wrong, we shouldn't have loved. It puts conditions on love and what is supposed to look like, i.e. what you are supposed to get from loving, the bargaining aspect of love if you will. But if you listen closely to that voice what it is really saying you might hear something like this,
"thank god you loved, because now i can tell you that it didn't turn out right and furthermore i can make you miserable and in your misery you will listen to me even more carefully to avoid the pain that i will promise that you will avoid if you listen to me but i really won't deliver on because whenever you do something from love, which is your nature, so you are guaranteed to slip up from time to time and love, i will punish you for not listening to me and doing what is in your nature and that punishment will cause you to listen to me even more carefully so that you won't get hurt and the result is i'm very happy and you're not." Aie, aie , aie.
One of the reasons i like being here in Paris is because i allow myself to love as much as i possibly can. Life has been incredibly generous with me and i show my appreciation by loving without expectation. It seems ironic to me that the more you love without wanting or expecting anything in return the more love you receive. And my loving is not limited to people. I say i love you to the trees, to the snow, to my very sharp knife and even to the omnipresent doggie caca on the sidewalks---and i promise you there are no shortage of opportunities to love.
"Are you careful with your heart? Do you keep it protected?"
"No, not at all" i replied.
I explained as carefully as i could love was not something to be protected or hoarded or hidden away. Love was something to be shared and given away. My teacher, don Miguel Ruiz, told me many years ago that what makes us feel so good feeling the love pour out of us. Only our simple minds put conditions and restrictions on love. Love knows no boundaries. And a few days later i awoke to this in an email from Miguel:
Be generous with your love. You are never going to be alone if you are
generous with your love. What makes you happy is love coming out of you,
and if you are generous with your love, everyone is going to love you.
The fear to love only comes from the mind that tells us its not safe or we are going to get hurt. But did you ever ask who hurts you...really? Not him or her or them. The "person" that hurts us is the little voice in our head that says we did something wrong, we shouldn't have loved. It puts conditions on love and what is supposed to look like, i.e. what you are supposed to get from loving, the bargaining aspect of love if you will. But if you listen closely to that voice what it is really saying you might hear something like this,
"thank god you loved, because now i can tell you that it didn't turn out right and furthermore i can make you miserable and in your misery you will listen to me even more carefully to avoid the pain that i will promise that you will avoid if you listen to me but i really won't deliver on because whenever you do something from love, which is your nature, so you are guaranteed to slip up from time to time and love, i will punish you for not listening to me and doing what is in your nature and that punishment will cause you to listen to me even more carefully so that you won't get hurt and the result is i'm very happy and you're not." Aie, aie , aie.
One of the reasons i like being here in Paris is because i allow myself to love as much as i possibly can. Life has been incredibly generous with me and i show my appreciation by loving without expectation. It seems ironic to me that the more you love without wanting or expecting anything in return the more love you receive. And my loving is not limited to people. I say i love you to the trees, to the snow, to my very sharp knife and even to the omnipresent doggie caca on the sidewalks---and i promise you there are no shortage of opportunities to love.
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