Compare and Contrast

A few days ago, I tootled off to meet a new friend at the Grand Palace and see the Turner exhibit. From the loads of people there, a wildly popular exhibit (but i have an idea that most of them were part of some conspiratorial tour group operation.) Turner was a prolific English artist famous for his classic late 1700's early 1800's landscapes. When possible the curator chose to show the paintings side by side with other artists who had painted the same landscape from the same point of view. Imagine two artists sitting on the same terrace perhaps at different times drawing the same vista. It produced an eerie deja vu type of experience.

Since the exhibit i realized that i have curated my life in much the same way. If my life i Portland is one painting, my life in Paris is another. By comparing and contrasting them i get to note the similarities and the differences and a certain detachment ensues. And somehow this detachment from one life or the other (i am not this painting or that) gives me a freedom to be something that is neither painting. Imagine realizing "Oh i am neither the person who runs off to work everyday nor the person who runs off to language school." "I am neither the person who drives a car nor the one walks everywhere." I get closer to the essence of me and metaphorically speaking further away from the distraction of colors, shapes and brush strokes.

It sort of boils down to this: on the one hand there seems to be very little "me" operating and on the other hand a whole lotta "I am" operating. It is a joyous place to leave the little me behind.